楼主:养心乐园 时间:2019年11月19日 17:11:51 点击:0 回复:0
A long distance relationship is a trial of patience for two people in love. I've had my share of them due to my job commitments and at this stage in time, university degree requirement. In this article I will share several ideas on ways to not only sustain a pre-existing relationship but also develop it further.I am assuming that you two have aly been in a relationship for a reasonable amount of time. Your time together is precious and sacred and both of you appreciate the fact that among thousands of people out there, the two of you chose to be together. I assume here that there are no lies, that both are committed to the relationship.Truth is, your biggest enemy is time. But at the same time, time squandered is a waste. For example, you spend all your life pining away for your partner hundreds or thousands of miles away when the thing that needs doing - your job, your degree, your life - is put on hold. Stop. You might say, "Well, its all part of the fun isn't it? Staying up late, listening to silly soppy songs on radio, re-ing old letters. Where's the harm in that?" Frankly, ma'am, a little is alright but a lot is way out of context.Balance is the key to maintaining sanity in a long distance relationship. True, you may love him/her. But if you spend all your time focusing on how much you miss him/her, it will affect your moods and just make you a duller person.On with the list of of Ten Ideas to Sustain A Long Distance RelationshipHave DVD Fridays/WeekendsThe idea is that even though you're apart, it wouldn't hurt to synchronize watching a movie rental together. At least, after the movie, you can have a chat about the movie. Whether you liked it or not, or whether you identified with this or that character. At the very least, it's a conversation topic.Work on a Common Project.A friend of mine works in Beijing while his wife is in the US. They're engaged and working hard towards securing their future. They've just bought a home and are thinking of decorating it. Other than actually buying stuff and shipping it home (which can be extremely expensive!), whip out that Cameraphone, snap pics, put a price to it and post it on Flickr or set up a blog. Now both of you are engaged in the search of fantasy furniture pieces!Share the Same DreamMy gay friend and his partner are fitness buffs. They had this crazy idea of doing the 100km marathon. The thing is, one of them's going away to the States for his studies and will periodically at the end of the year for his winter break. So I told them, why not train separately, but aim for a common end point. End of the year come back and race together. How about keeping a couple's training journal?Skype amp; MSNThe key ingredient for any great relationship is COMMUNICATION. Instantaneous if possible, delayed at best. Skype offers anybody with a fast broadband connection and decent CPU processor speed the opportunity to call anybody on the internet for FREE. If you can't talk, use MSN messenger or any dozens of competing Instant Messaging services to keep in touch and focused. There's now no excuse to communicate if calls are FREE and messages are Instantaneous!Stay Grounded and FocusedI can't emphasize this enough. Most people who arrive in a new city suddenly find themselves surrounded by new things to do, new people to meet etc. With that comes the temptation to try something new. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, or so they tell me. RESIST. Tell yourself, that you are in a perfectly good relationship and that you shouldn't put yourself in a compromising position. Life shouldn't be an episode of "Sex in the City". That kind of life leaves you depleted and hollow. Before one of you leave, get a set of commitment rings/studs/bracelet - anything. It doesn't have to be flashy but it is a token, a reminder that you carry in your heart, his/her heart. Mean it when you give it to him/her.Remember Your Anniversaries and FirstsNeglect it at your cost, but if you forget an anniversary, woe betide you... Write it down, print it out, tattoo it onto your brain, but make sure you remember your anniversaries and birthdays. Why? Well, with a little planning, that event can become focal points for the year. Something to look forward to. You could even surprise him/her with gifts sent by post. Ebay.com has lots of stuff on offer, so make full use of it. Everyone loves getting something special in the mail.Keep A JournalWhat doesn't get written down, will not be remembered. You're both young, enterprising adults with lives of your own. Keep track of your thoughts and emotional development. Keep track of your dreams and hopes. Doodle, scribble, inscribe your memory in a special way so that you may share it. The point is that sometimes Life moves so fast, you forget who you were or why you are with the person. A journal acts as a reminder.Pay Attention To Each Other's Needs For SleepDifference in time zone, jet lag, lack of morning coffee - are frequently cited reasons as to why you're especially grouchy. Both partners need to be mindful that people get tired and need rest. When you agree to communicate choose a reasonable timing. Something that you're both comfortable with. 8pm in Hong Kong is 12pm in Britain. That's reasonable. When I was 8 hours ahead of my girl when she was visiting her family in UK, I came up with a table to remind myself of the time in UK, each time she logged on. I shared this with her and as much as possible we talked only when it was reasonable for us to do so.Use GoogleMaps To Visualize The Space Between YouIt's a fun exercise to help crystallize the distance that separates the two of you. Go to GoogleMaps type in your address and then type in your partner's address. Create a composite map of how you'll be getting home if you were to walk the entire distance using satellite photos.Finally, TrustThe most important thing in a relationship is Trust. Trust that your partner will do the right thing. Trust that you will do the right thing. Be aware that pitfalls await for any couple, and that he/she can cheat at any point in time and space because, really at the end of the day, its their choice. What we can do as partners of lovers who are abroad is be the best personthat we can be.I hope this write up will be of use to all lovers out there living under the tyranny of distance. Trust me on this, LDRs are worth having. There's an old adage that goes, "Absence only makes the heart grow fonder" and the old-fuddy-duddy in me wants to believe in that. Till next time! /200804/35246Welcome to Monday morning at the office. Did you have trouble sleeping last night? Was your stomach bothering you? Did you feel a sense of d about heading into work? 欢迎回到周一的办公室。你昨晚睡得好吗?肚子有没有不舒?一想到要上班,心里有没有七上八下的? Could be that you have a case of the Sunday blues - and you#39;re not the only one. A recent survey by jobs website Monster.com found that 8 out of 10 people report melancholy and anxious feelings as the weekend winds down. Nearly half of the 3,600 respondents went so far as to say they have it #39;really bad.#39; 这可能是你患上了星期天忧郁症──而且你并不是唯一一个。招聘网站Monster.com最近的调查显示,八成的人都说自己在周末逐渐过去的时候会觉得愁闷忧虑。3,600名受访者中,将近一半的人都说他们觉得“很难受”。 #39;Really bad#39; is hardly a clinical diagnosis, but Sunday blues are real, says Jeffrey Kahn, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College who specializes in workplace issues. He#39;s noticed that some workers tend to sleep poorly on Sunday night, feeling wired as they rev up for the week or rehearsing the next day#39;s agenda in their heads. 威尔康奈尔医学院(Weill Cornell Medical College)擅长职场问题的精神病学临床副教授卡恩(Jeffrey Kahn)说,“很难受”几乎算不上是医学诊断,但星期天忧郁症却是实实在在的。他注意到,一些职场人士往往在周日晚上睡得不好,亢奋地思虑一周的事情或是在脑子里演练第二天的日程。 #39;It#39;s part real - they#39;re going back to the office - and part symbolic,#39; he says. The dawn of a fresh week reminds people of the bigger issues lurking under the surface amid weekend brunches, sporting events and parties. 他说,这有一部分是真实的──他们即将回到工作中──还有一部分是象征性的。全新一周的开始让人们想起周末的早午餐、体育活动和聚会这些活动的表面之下潜藏的更大问题。 Employees worry about a harsh boss or a big project coming due. But some of the worst anxiety is actually sparked by #39;things that might go well,#39; Kahn says. Workers on the brink of a promotion might fear the extra work that will come along with it or that their colleagues will become envious. Or employees about to wrap a big project might worry they won#39;t be able to repeat the feat. 员工们忧心忡忡的是苛刻的老板或是即将到期限的大项目。卡恩说,但一些最严重的忧虑实际上是由可能顺利的事情引起的。即将得到提拔的员工可能担心随之而来的额外工作,或是同事会嫉妒自己。就快完成一个大项目的员工也可能担心,他们可能无法重现这样的功绩。Sunday evening anxiety isn#39;t all bad, Kahn notes-some people channel their anxious feelings into intense effort, working harder to banish their nerves. 卡恩强调说,周日晚间的忧虑也不全是坏事──有的人将焦虑情绪化为紧张的工作,工作更为努力以放松神经。 Joanie Ruge, a staffing industry veteran who#39;s now a senior vice president at Monster, recommends workers take extra time on Friday to prep for Monday morning and fully disconnect during the weekends so they feel fully refreshed once the week begins. She also suggests workers set early bedtimes on Sunday nights and wake extra-early on Monday so they#39;re not stressed or harried as they make their way to work. 从事人事工作多年的鲁格(Joanie Ruge)现在已是Monster的高级副总裁,她建议职场人士周五额外花些时间为周一早上做准备,并在周末期间完全忘掉工作的事情,这样就能在一周开始时觉得完全振作。她还建议职员周日晚上早些就寝、周一早上起得更早一些,这样上班时就不会觉得紧张或匆忙。 Kahn says meditation, exercise or social events like dinner with family can help to ease Sunday stress. Activities that provide comfort or distraction can be helpful - think, a favorite television show or a warm drink. 卡恩说,冥想、锻炼或与家人一同吃饭之类的社交活动能帮助缓解周日的紧张。能够给人安慰或让人分心的活动也有帮助──比如说钟爱的电视节目或一杯热饮。 #39;For some people, a cup of hot chocolate works wonders,#39; he says. 他说,对一些人来说,一杯热巧克力有着神奇的效用。 /201311/263585Greetings 美国人的问候方式 East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet." At least, that's what English writer Rudyard Kipling said. Truth is, nowadays Easterners and Westerners meet quite often. And when they do meet, naturally, they have to find an appropriate greeting. Aye, there's the rub. What's culturally appropriate for people in one culture may be completely out of line in another culture. So the best approach is to follow the well-known maxim, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." 「东方是东方,西方是西方,两者是不会相会的。」至少,英国短篇小说家吉普林是如此认为。事实上,当今东方人与西方人时常碰面。当他们会面时,自然而然地必须找出一种合适的问候方式。唉,这就麻烦了!在某个文化里可能恰到好处的事,到另一个文化里,就可能过分踰矩。因此,最佳的做法就是遵守这个耳熟能详的行事准则:「入境随俗」。 So what's an appropriate salutation for Americans? Maybe you aly know how to say, "How are you?" You might even know the customary response, "Fine, thanks, and you?" Is that all there is to greeting people American-style? Well, Americans do often use this trite greeting, and they generally expect nothing but the standard answer. (If you want to shock an American friend, the next time he greets you this way, tell him how you're really doing.) But most Americans enjoy a little variety now and then. In informal settings, you might hear Americans say, "How's it going?" (which doesn't mean, "What's your destination?") or "What's up?" (which isn't an inquiry about the stock market). Formal situations, on the other hand might call for expressions like "Good morning" or "Hello, it's nice to see you." 那么,对美国人而言,什么才是适当的问候语?可能你已经懂得怎么说「How are you?」(你好吗?)你甚至也知道一般常用的回答「Fine, thanks, and you?」(我很好,谢谢,你呢?)用美国的方式来问候别人,就仅仅如此而已吗?其实美国人的确常用这老套的问候方式,而他们所期待的,也只是一般的标准回答。(你如果想让你的美国朋友吃惊,下一次他如此问候你时,你就把你真正的感觉告诉他。)但是,多数的美国人偶而会喜欢有些变化。在非正式的场合里,你可能听到美国人说「How's it going?」 (它不是在问「你的目的地是哪里?」)或者是「What's up?」(它也不是询问股市的动态) 而在另一方面,一个正式的场合所使用的问候语,则可能是「Good morning」(早安),或是「Hello, it is nice to see you.」(哈啰!很高兴见到你。)After the initial "hello," what kind of comments are appropriate to kick off a conversation? You might engage in small talk and make a remark about the weather, your job or current events. Or you could ask your American friend about his recent activities or his upcoming plans. If you know that he's been under the weather, you might ask him how he's feeling. But don't make use of personal comments or questions like "Boy, you've put on weight!" or "What are all those bumps on your face?" or "How much money did that necklace cost?" Americans might take offense at questions or comments about money or their appearance. 说了开场的「Hello」之后,用什么话来适当地打开话闸子呢?你可能与对方闲聊,提及天气、你的工作或是时事。或者,你可以问你的美国朋友他最近做了什么,或是再来的计划有哪些。如果你知道他一直身体不适,你或许可以问他感觉如何。但千万不要用牵涉个人的评语或问题,像是:「唷!你体重又增加了!」或是「你脸上一粒一粒的是怎么来的?」或是「那条项练你花了多少钱?」美国人可能会对于有关金钱以及个人外表的问题或批评,感到反感。 One other caution: In some social contexts, particularly in an office or a professional setting, greetings between the sexes should be very conservative. If you're a man, greeting a woman with a statement like "Wow! You look beautiful today!" may be construed as a come--on. So when you're giving a compliment, the key is to use discretion. 另一项值得注意的:在某种社交场合,尤其是在办公室或专业场合里,两性之间的问候应该非常保守。如果你是男性,而问候女性时你说:「哇!你今天真漂亮!」这可能会被误解为一种挑逗行为。因此,赞美他人时,仔细斟酌非常重要。 What about overt displays of affection, like hugging and kissing? Contrary to some stereotypes, Americans don't go around hugging and kissing everyone they meet. Of course, girls might give each other a squeeze as a friendly gesture, and in some high society circles, a little peck on the cheek is a common courtesy. But except with family members and close friends, Americans usually don't give out wholesale hugs. Besides that, not all Americans are inveterate huggers anyway. So don't wrap your arms around the next American you see. He or she might be just as uncomfortable as you are. 那么,公开地表示感情,例如拥抱以及亲吻,又该如何呢?美国人与一般人所认定的典型不同,他们并不会到处拥抱、亲吻遇见的每一个人。当然,女性们可能会在见面时彼此紧抱一下以示友好;而且在某些上流社交圈里,轻吻对方的面颊是很普遍的礼节。但除了对家人与好友外,美国人通常不会经常随便拥抱他人。此外,并不是每一位美国人都习惯拥抱他人。因此,不要随便把手臂环住下一个你碰到的美国人。他可能会跟你一样地不自在。 /200803/32556

I complimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn’t resist bragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, “That’s not bad for a man of my age.”我称赞我的一个同事减肥10磅。可是,我禁不住夸耀说我17岁时,体重225磅,而目前体重是224磅。我还说:“这对我这样年龄的男子来说,是不错的。”Overhearing this, a woman remarked, “You mean to say it took you all this time to lose one pound?”一个女子听到了这些话,她说道:“你是说你花了这么长时间才减了1磅?”

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